Thanks for the feedback I definitely appreciate it!

Checking out those max roach recs, that is some awesome drumming! He is very good at maintaining a pulse or a subtle groove which he solos on top of. Also repeating various rhythms and phrases between wilder moments helps to add cohesion. He might not be playing notes but he’s still repeating phrases similar to what a melodic instrument would do. And it’s pretty great stuff to have on while reading your post and writing this response.
I dont reach for jazz as often as I probably should. I always enjoy it when I do but rarely am I like “i gotta hear some jazz right now”. Still its great for fitting a certain vibe. Not everything needs to be foregrounded and paid close attention to. Though when I’m in the mood for atmosphere I tend to reach for things more in the ambient sphere than I do jazz. Or i just pick the jazz records i’m already familiar with like Kind Of Blue for the 300th time (no shame in that though). I agree with you that when you get into it you really get into it but then you run out of steam. I’m sure I’ll go through another big jazz phase eventually though.

Yeah I definitely never had anything like that in my 20s. Cougar types have never really come on my radar.
There were a tiny handful of opportunities I could have had in my 20s, for instance once a girl i had a class with literally directly asked me out and i lied to her that i was already in a relationship even though there was nothing wrong with her at all. And there were other occasions of girls talking to me after i played a show with my band which could have been turned into connections of some kind. But through my 20s my mental health was on a major downslide and that basically sabotaged everything.
There were another couple girls that I met right after my mental health crisis when I was starting to recover and rediscovering myself but the wounds of that situation were so fresh that I was so vulnerable and sensitive to everything I couldn’t maintain my composure and I definitely still had a ways to go to really be confident in myself enough to be worth dating anyway. I’ve only really reached a better place in the last several years, which is why it’s been frustrating that the opportunities that once appeared have seemed to dry up.

In general i’m constantly surrounded by younger women these days. I’m not meeting girls my own age and any older women I encounter are married. I certainly have had plenty of crushes on the younger girls I work with and so on, but I’ve always been very cautious about the situation of an older guy going for girls 9 or 10 years younger. If one of those girls made it obvious that she was into me and that wasnt an issue then sure it would be fine, but i tend to not get that sense. My uncle and aunt are 10 years apart in age, but they also met when the younger one was in their 30s so it’s a bit different by that age than it is when the younger one is 24 or whatever.

After my mental health crisis in my late 20s I went through a whole spiritual journey phase of self rediscovery and healing, this was definitely a major period of working through my shit that I really needed to deal with and I’m glad I was given the space from my family to allow me to go through that. I did a lot of research into various self help books and philosophy and related stuff. So i’m familiar with a decent amount of the things you mention, but it’s always helpful to be reminded. But this is also when i started smoking weed on the regular and honestly i think one of the biggest challenges for me right now is to rediscover how to find these sorts of things without using weed to help me through it. I’d still like to be able to use weed in the future (certainly would rather have a bowl than a drink by a looong shot) but i think it’s for the best to continue holding off for now.

I dont think I could afford a retail job. Im not making a ton of money where I am now and am only just getting by as it is. One of my goals is to be able to move into a more comfortable place since my current spot is not great. And I can’t see how I’d be able to do that unless I’m able to make more money than I currently am.
I wish I could have a dog but I can’t have pets in my place. My parents have a great dane which I see a decent amount though so that’s nice at least.

The phone thing is frustrating cus I need it for so much stuff in terms of communication with work and such, but it’s so easy to get sucked into scrolling through bullshit nothing. (and its even lamer to realize you’ve been bamboozled into reading some AI generated slop, which happens more and more often). I used to have an MP3 player for all my music, but now I use streaming on my phone so when it comes time to change the music I gotta look at my phone which is another opportunity for distraction.
This was another thing that was MUCH easier when I was still smoking weed. I’d be able to do my own thing without giving a f*ck about my phone, but since I’m lacking that stimulation i was once getting from the weed it becomes way easier to fidget with BS like that. Or even using dating apps, I still gotta go on my phone for that, if youre not getting anywhere with it scrolling through dating profiles isn’t much better than scrolling through facebook. Going on long walks has usually been my best solution to avoiding the phone, even if im using the phone for listening to something I can set it and forget it and observe the world around me as my primarily visual focus.

I’ve had shitty bios and I’ve had decent ones, I’ve changed it frequently. Do i put a quippy line? Do i describe myself? Do i write down what kind of person i’m looking for? What do i put that would make someone who i would be interested in choose me?
I am a songwriter and I think I’ve written some good lyrics including some romantic tunes that I’m pretty proud of, but it’s hard to squeeze that kind of thing into a dating bio when you have a character limit anyway.
A big factor is my location unfortunately. Vancouver is full of people, but I live a 45 drive away from Vancouver which massively reduces the number of options. Also my town has a lot of religious folks, over half of the girls I see on these apps are Sikh girls looking for partners who are also Sikh (by far the biggest religious minority in my town) and jesus freak country girls. I’m not opposed to dating someone religious but it’s usually the case that religious people dont want to date someone who doesnt share their beliefs.
I am definitely overdue to change what app I’m using though. Been largely focused on bumble lately. It’s just a hassle to revise my profile on a different app, but I’ll probably give hinge a try next.