Before you snark, I’ve only bought three grams of cocaine in my life and generally found it overrated (you feel great for an hour then feel like shit unless you do more coke, and you can’t sleep for like six hours, plus cocaine boogers, ick) and expensive as hell, and I always ended up sharing/giving half of it away because I’m generous. Yet I still get a hankering every now and then. It’s an inherently glamorous drug because of how it makes you feel and act.

It doesn’t make you feel like this, that’s PCP:

What would happen on a crime report if a town changed its name to No Fixed Address? How’s this for a supper: Baconator fries, large chocolate Frosty, and a Dave’s Triple with just ketchup and mayo.