Sadly I remember mishearing those lyrics like that, too. I went to see the movie that used that song–Varsity Blues–in theaters and I bet I couldn’t make it through the whole film today.

If the R. E. M. song you heard in public was not “Stand” or “Shiny Happy People,” but rather “Nightswimming” then not only do I owe you a ballsack, but I’ll cut off my next door neighbor’s ballsack since he’s been throwing furniure around his apartment at 2:30 in the morning and screaming death threats at his wife, and you can have that too.