Similarly with the visual style, which is mostly awful bad 2000s CGI with heavy orange and blues; I’m sure that’s an intentional quotation or commentary on contemporary aesthetics

Sorry to have to ask, but are you being sarcastic here? I dunno, assuming that you’re being sincere, I still don’t really want to watch something like that.
If everyone is making movies were people eat shit on screen, I don’t really need another one to help me meditate on the idea that shit eating is bad. I’m sure that people would argue against alot of movies I like for the same reason, but still…
That said, I don’t think that seeing a movie from The Coppola of Bram Stoker’s Dracula is unappealing. As an homage to a bunch of old movies I like, I enjoy that one more than any Tarantino movie in that respect. But it really doesn’t work as a story, and part of it are truly bad.

I don’t even know what The Subtance is, but part of the reason that I skip so many popular movies now is that they look way too long for how mediocre I expect them to be. I already remarked on this below regarding my reluctance to sit through the new Mad Max, despite being a long time fan of the series. If all those Marvel CMU movies were 90 minutes or less I probably would have given some of them a shot. I’m fine with long movies, but they should be long for some reason other than so that the audience doesn’t feel cheated over having to sit through 30 minutes of commercials and previews before watching a 90 minute movie and then realizing that the adds were 25% of the experience.