....becaaaaaaauuuuse....of the 2020 film Stardust, a film about the period when Bowie unveiled Ziggy, starring an actor you’ve never heard of who didn’t look or sound a thing like David Bowie. It got completely thrashed by critics and disappeared without a trace, possibly only out-flopped by the “Morrissey movie” England Is Mine. Do you remember that it even happened?

Of course, you can’t really be sure that that will stop anyone–the fact that the first Bowie movie flopped doesn’t mean they won’t give it another go at some point, just like they’ve been mulling a new John Belushi movie for years in spite of–or BECAUSE of–they tried to do one in 1989 (Wired) and everyone completely hated it.

The one I can’t believe has never happened is a Guns n’ Roses movie. I guess they’re all too still alive to object? I really do find the rise of GN’R and then getting dethroned by grunge, coupled with their countless publicity disasters between 1988 and 1993, to be the most fascinating story in rock music history after SMiLE. There’s no way a movie about that could be sanitized or would make the band look good in any way, they caused way too much trouble.

I’m Not There topped shitloads of critics’ lists at the end of 2007, I distinctly recall, because I actually bothered to read those sorts of things back then. Nowadays I can barely be bothered to care.

Since getting into the early Dylan catalogue, I’m only just now finding out that Dylan’s motorcycle accident has a mythical status and that there was no police report filed!! That would be hilarious if it turned out that he made the whole thing up, like when Paula Abdul claimed she was in a plane crash that never happened.